This Bonehead (Named David Sedaris!) Told a Fan Her Dog Was Going to Die

In light of his recent actions, there is only one thing we have to say to David Sedaris:

Stop telling people their dogs are going to die, David Sedaris!

David Sedaris. (Photo via Wikipedia)

Let us explain: You know how some people are blessed with an amazing talent that they nurture and develop until they become wildly famous and start telling people their dogs are going to die?

No?

Well, let us introduce you to David Sedaris!

The writer, who has made millions of people laugh throughout the years, recently made one woman cry. For telling her that her dog was going to die.

And then he drew her a picture of her dog’s tombstone!

Before we tell you the story, be warned: If David Sedaris is among your favorite writers, you are about to go through a bad time, so get a cold glass of water and find a nice place to sit.

Here we go. According to radio station WCYY, a woman who worked in the sales department at the station went to a David Sedaris book-signing in October. Karen. She brought one of David’s books, Me Talk Pretty One Day. She waited in line, stepping forward every so often, until she was face to face with the humorist.

Who was not feeling humorous. 

Their exchange follows, courtesy of her Facebook page:

DS: “What’s your name?”
Me: “Karen”
DS: “Do you have children?”
Me: “I have a dog”
DS: “What’s his name?”
Me: “Cosmo”
DS: “How old?”
Me: “He’s 12.”
DS: “Oh, he’ll die soon. Yes, he’s 12, he’ll die soon.”

He’ll die soon! David Sedaris told this woman who works in sales at a radio station that her dog would die soon!

And then he drew a tombstone with “R.I.P. Cosmo” on it.

And then he drew the weeds that would grow there because “she’d forget about him and get another puppy.”

And then we threw up.

Photo via WCYY

Don’t be a bonehead, David Sedaris. You’re too funny for that.

Read about more boneheads on Dogster:

• These Boneheads Tried to Castrate Their Dog With a Rubber Band
• This Bonehead Walked His Dog From a Moving Car — In Traffic
• DUI Bonehead Flees From Police, Says His Dog Was Behind the Wheel

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